it’s strange how a dream can alter one’s perception of their reality and this is something i’ve been thinking about for the last few days and though this recent train of thought comes on the heels of a rather nice, but unsettling dream i had a couple of weeks ago. while i understand everyone supposedly dreams every night, i often say “i don’t dream very often.” what i guess this means in reality is that i don’t recall my dreams very often. it’s always been the case and imagine it has something to do with the fact that i’ve never slept very well.
because “i don’t dream very often,” it’s quite rare that i awake in the morning with a perception that is different from the one i had when i went to sleep. it’s so rare, in fact, that i can count on one hand the number of times it’s happened. now, while i understand that human beings dream every night while they sleep, i remember reading, or hearing, that dreams help us make sense of our days, our lives, putting thoughts and feelings in some order that makes sense. i’m not sure if this is actually true, or not, and given my limited experience, so to speak, with dreams, it’s hard to for me say that i believe that explanation with certainty. what i can say is that before this recent dream, i had one view, one understanding of my life, one perception of my reality and when i awoke from it, i had another.
referring back to a previous post, the dream in question left me questioning how i had previously seen someone in my life. we had been good friends, or so i thought, for years, but i never really looked at her in any romantic sense. when she moved away, i was sad to see my friend leave, but after a while and as a result of a lack of communication, i came to not miss her all that much. the perception of my reality was that we were friends at one point, but that friendship became faded by distance and time. after a while, my perception of my life didn’t really include her at all. and it didn’t bother me all that much. i mean, sure it made be a bit sad from time to time, but i understood my reality; we weren’t as close as i had once thought and i moved on with my life here.
then, one dream shook that perception. i find myself missing her more now. i find myself thinking about her more. i find myself questioning how accurate my previous perception had actually been. that one dream has so altered my perception i find both interesting and frustrating. the dream was a completely fictional story, one that wasn’t based even remotely on the reality of my waking life, yet that story, that dream has left me questioning so many things. and all those questions have resulted in a slightly more uncertain life outlook than the one i previously held; when one aspect of your perception is changed, so is the sum of that perception.
at this point, i’m not quite sure what to do with myself. slowly, this new perception is becoming more familiar, more comfortable. soon enough, i will have adapted completely and it will become my new reality, at least, that is, until another dream shakes me loose yet again….