vlog

for the rare saturday post, i wanted to share some ideas i’ve been toying with to improve my blog and, hopefully, make it more appealing.

at least one involves reintroducing my video blog via my youtube channel. i’m hesitant to share too much because i kind of want it to be a surprise. what i will say is that i’m looking to change the nature of my posts for “music mondays”. while i think they’ve been ok, i realize they may be more interesting and entertaining if i personalized, rather than just posted music videos. hopefully you’ll enjoy what i’ve come up with.

the other is a little more amorphous at this stage. a friend, in response to a previous post, posed to me a question that is an interesting idea. Explore “why politicians ought to consider pushing for a more medium platform rather than pushing far to one extreme or another.”

while the question has some merit, i think the mindset behind it is maybe misguided. still, more substantive political posts, including some response to his question, is a good idea. i’m thinking about a way where a conversation between myself and various activists, politicians, etc.

live posts would be difficult, unless they were done during the weekend. i could meet with these folks, record and then transcribe the conversation on a particular topic. or, do the same thing, but in video form.

this is something i thought about doing previously, but never put much effort into it.

i’ll keep you posted on how these projects progress, but keep an eye out for my new “music monday” format and let me know what you think. in the meantime, enjoy your weekend and please keep visiting my blog.

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it’s hard to say how many times i’ve “restarted” this blog; certainly more than once, which is arguably too many.

over the years, it’s gotten harder to sit down and create content on a regular basis and there are many reasons.

one, i’ve gotten busier and more involved in various things as i’ve gotten older. in my down time, i’m less inclined to pull up to the laptop and draft… anything. two, though there’s often any of number of things i could sit down and write about, it inevitably happens that when i try, my brain goes blank, or to topics arguably beaten to death. and then there are other topics which i’m not entirely comfortable sharing for public consumption. oh sure, over the years i’ve let slip a glimpse of my crazy, but as i’ve gotten better at coping i’ve also gotten better at hiding the crazy that still remains.

then, of course, i often wonder who the hell cares to actually read what i write….

so, with the recent relative upheaval of my semi-professional life, i’m left with a bit of a hole in my life. a greater-than-normal amount of free time and a frustration and disillusionment has me doing a bit of soul-searching; what better place to do soul-searching than on my blog!

as i attempt to restart the blog, i’m trying out some new blogging software, desk pm, which, in theory, will make posting a bit easier and quicker. i’m also working on some other projects; including restarting the video blogging and merging my long-dormant peoplesdialectic.com blog with this one.

more later.

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with the birth of 2016 fast approaching, i’m still struggling to nail down my “yearly theme,” my goals for the new year. i’ve got a list of ideas, though with little details on how to achieve them. under pressure to wake up on january 1st with a plan and vision i’ve attempted answer the questions remaining from part one, hoping at the end, i will be much closer to putting pen to paper and putting my “theme”  in writing.

~ what do i want to leave behind from this year?

it’s been a whirl-wind year. with dramatic changes at my work-place and an exciting and energizing election season heating up, though there may have been a fair amount of complaining on my part, i’m not sure how much of it was in my control, save one area.

those of you who know me, or have frequented this blog know that i’ve struggled off and on with depression for a fair chunk of my life. earlier this year, i fell into a funk out of which, on my own, i was unable to climb. i’ve been meeting with my therapist regularly since. though i’m back in an even, and even positive, frame of mind, i continue to see him as a motivation to work on things we’ve agreed are important.

though my temperament is such that i believe i will always be at risk of depressive funks, what i’d like to leave behind from this is year a nagging sense that my life lacks direction, accomplishments, or goals. the arc of my life has been fairly a typical, i think. it’s certainly outside the range of “normal” for the majority of my friends and while i look at this as a positive thing, i sometimes focus on the things they have that i don’t which causes feelings of loneliness and failure.

the goal of the “yearly theme” project, at is very core, is an attempt to leave these feelings behind once-and-for-all and be happy with what i have and successful in the goals i set for myself.

~ what went incredibly well?

honestly? i’m not sure anything went “incredibly” well. when weighing the “good” and “bad” in my life over this year, i can say that the scale easily tips toward the good. i made progress improving my finances, developed or strengthened relationships with some members of the democratic party of hawaii (which could prove valuable in the coming year), and proved my worth in a new position in my office.

as a matter of fact, if i look back at (what i can remember of) this year, it seems to have been a foundation-setting year. there was nothing particularly remarkable about this year, other than i could say it has put me in position to have a really good 2016.

~ what do i want more of in the year ahead?

more focus. i feel like i do a lot, constantly busy, but as i’ve been contemplating this new undertaking over the last few weeks, i’ve really begun to realize that while i’m involved in a lot of different things like collecting 5.56 ammo from Palmetto for sport, there’s not a whole lot of focus in my life. enjoyable hobbies like writing, video blogging, and (restarting my) photography are consistently put off in exchange for “work” for one of the various organizations for which i volunteer; that has to change.

more joy. i’m not an unhappy person per se, but it can be a bit lonely and my free time is spent mostly laying on my couch. i’m often reminded, usually by friends and family that don’t live here, that i take completely for granted the fact that i live in this very special place. so, in the new year, i want more nature time: beaches, ocean, hiking, or just walking around my neighborhood. making a point to enjoy what hawaii has to offer is a good first step in the right direction.

there are still three or four more questions to go, but to keep this post from becoming completely unreadable, i’ll continue on in part three. stay tuned.

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this will be a short post.

i’ve been conscious for a while that i dropped off from doing my videos for two or three months and have been feeling a little bad about it. with the new job and responsibilities, i’ve struggled a bit to find the time and energy to not only to record, but to edit videos.

then, over the last few weeks, i’ve heard from a few friends who commented that they hadn’t seen a post from me in a while and enjoyed watching my videos. hearing that from a few different people was just the little nudge i needed to try and get started again.

i think i’m a bit rusty in my editing skills, so this may not be as well edited as some of my previous videos….

i can’t promise i’ll be as regular as i was previously, but i’m going to make an effort. so, stay tuned, please comment on and subscribe to my youtube channel, and let me know you’re watching and enjoying my videos. though i do these largely for myself, it’s very nice to know that people are watching and enjoying them and gives me a little extra motivation that i sometimes find necessary to make the effort.

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this is going to be a quick and short post. i’ll try to do a longer, catch-up post in the next week, or so. for now, i wanted to get this out.

the last video i posted got responses from friends and family, worried about my future. admittedly, it was a bit depressing, but at the time, there was a lot of uncertainty in my life and i was coming to the end of a job and experience i was proud and happy to have had.

just a day or two after i recorded that vlog, i was asked by the new administration to stay on until the end of the year. and last week i was asked to stay, permanently, in the policy office for the new governor. it’s a relief and i’m thrilled to have the opportunity to work for the new governor, as well as move in to a higher position. there are still  details to be sorted out.

as things begin to normalize, i’m also beginning to have an easier time focusing and getting motivated. some of you may already know, but i don’t deal well with change and big changes, like uncertainty in my job, puts me out of sorts, making it difficult to do much, like regularly record videos. i hoping to get back to a regular vlog schedule soon.

stay tuned and happy holidays!

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