Date Unknown
The Star That Shines For Me
A distant star
Shines bright for
Me
It knows I’m
Lonely
For you are
Far away
May 1, 1995
Rain
Drop
Wet
Drop
Wet
Another, and another
Chase each other
From the sky
To the ground
The joy splitting light
Tearing the sky
Silence
Gray
Cool
Wet
May 2, 1995
Love
The sun
Inside
You
Radiate from within
Warmth
The happiness
Need you
Want you
Life is infinite
The night
Inside
You
Swallows the light
Cold
The sorrow in you
The emptiness in you
Life is infinite
May 2, 1995
Smile
Warm
The kind of warmth
That fills your heart
With happiness
Comfort
This is the only kind of
Smile
That makes you feel
This way
The world
To you
Is perfect
This is the kind of
Smile
That greets you only a
Few times in your life
Without that kind of
Smile
There is only
Emptiness
May 2, 1995
I Close My Eyes
I can see the winter
Wind brush across your face
If
I close my eyes
I can see you on a warm summer day
If
I close my eyes
Maybe then
I can see you love me
If
I close my eyes
June 12, 1995
What is This Emptiness I Feel
Alone
Cold, sad
Abandoned
Deserted, forgotten
This is all so incredibly
New to me
Where have you gone
With my
Heart
My soul
June 12, 1995
Love?
Love
I think
How do I
Know
Your smile
Occasional embrace
Your bright face
Your eyes
Yes love
Date Unknown
Untitled
Will
You never know
Can never know
Exactly how I
Feel about you
Date Unknown
Sorrow
Gone
Perhaps forever
Love
Your love
Forever perhaps
Gone
Sorrow
For Gail’s Birthday
Your Friendship
Life is a walk along
An undetermined path
Along the way
We meet people who,
For a time,
Walk along the same
Stretch of road
Some, a mere few,
Choose to walk with
Us along the way
Friends share each other’s lives
Thank you
For walking with me
January 26, 1996
Untitled
There was a day, once
When your smile welcomed me
When your face lit up to see me
Time would pass like the wind, it would
Before I could grasp it
Is now for someone else
What has happened?
January 26, 1996
Beautiful
The orange light
Of the departing sun
Falls on your beautiful face
And lifts my heart
But hurts my eyes
For they have never seen an angel
So beautiful as you.
Date Unknown
The Rose
Were I to find
The most brightly colored
Wonderfully fragrant rose and
Present to you this flower
It would wilt in same at the touch
Of your delicate fingers and
The tremendous shadow that
Is your beauty
Date Unknown
A Love Lost
Your face is angelic
Your smile can light up a room
Your voice is in all my dreams
Your love is all I wanted from you
Your house is nowhere near mine, and yet I still drive past it every so often
Your sadness drove me away
Your fear and confusion kept me out of your life
Your tears you never showed to me
Your love is something I wish I still had
Your silence during the worst killed part of me
September 15, 1998
Why I had to Marry You
Because I didn’t want to be alone anymore
Because we hated each other when we met
Because of the way you laugh
So my parents would think I was normal
So I was talking to someone in bed besides myself
Insurance and tax breaks
All I want is happiness, you’re mine
Because I lost a get
I’m allergic to dogs
After a point I think love is pointless without marriage
September 26, 1998
Prelude to a Wish
The moon vanishes
While on the line between
Earth and sky
The sun shines brilliantly
6:21am the clock reads
As the sun forces me to roll
Over
Where did the night go
My mind is sluggish and tired
From its sleepless night
Of torturing thoughts
Opportunities not taken and
Loves left behind haunt my
Sleepless nights
11:43am and my eyes water
While my heart chokes on sadness
And pain
Will I sleep again
Images of Amy and my father
Float in my head
Making it throb and pulse
I wipe tears away
To clear my vision
Sitting up now
I brush sweat soaked hair
From my brow
Teeth clenched shut
Forcing screams back
Down in the pit of my stomach
The hate and pain topples
And my head falls into my pillow
1:11pm I wish to make the pain stop
March 5, 2000
Loving Hurt
In a dream…
I was holding you
My arms gently wrapped around you
I experienced the whole of spring in your hair
The fragrance of a warm breezy day
In your eyes I found comfort
Like the newborn in a mother’s arms
The sight of you steals my breath
Confuses my thoughts
Awake…
My arms ache to hold you
The smell of spring has left my senses
In a long remaining winter
Your eyes look right past me
My hearts sinks to my toes
My eyes water at the sight of you
And my soul cries for you to be next to me
March 5, 2000
We’re Lost
Surrounded by faces that don’t know me
I search for you
I walk the streets looking
For a soul that touches me
I search for you
Strangers surround my on the bus
In a room full of bodies
I am alone
I feel lost in the world without you
You are my light
You are my guide
Where are you
Do you look for me too
The man serving you dinner looks at you
But doesn’t see what I see
I know you
Will I find you
Dark water fills me up
I’m drowning in the world without you
March 6, 2000
Questions Without Answers
What does she see in me
Why does she love me
Why doesn’t she want me
Where do we go from here
How will this affect our relationship
How do I feel about this
Will we ever be together
Why does this bother me so much
Why am I supposed to think about this whole thing
Is G-d playing games with my life and my feelings
Why can’t I get a break
Will I ever get answers to any of these questions
July 31, 2001
The Last Place
There are so many things I didn’t say,
so many things I should have said.
I shouldn’t have been so rash.
I shouldn’t have been so selfish.
Love is the last place for self-indulgence.
I should have tried harder.
I should have jumped in head first.
I should have grabbed her.
I should have kissed her.
Love is the last place for fear.
We shouldn’t have talked about it.
I shouldn’t have tried to talk her into anything,
I shouldn’t have had to.
I acted like a lawyer or politician.
Love is the last place for diplomacy.
But is there a place in love…
for second chances?
April 17, 2002
For Erin
I wish it were easy
I wish it were clear
And I wish I could say things to you without fear
I don’t know what to say
I don’t know what to think
And there are times I don’t know where I stand
Don’t think too much of this
I simply couldn’t think of an easier way
For some reason, I think you’re beautiful, is hard for me to say.