i am not a conversationalist. or at least i’ve never thought of myself as one. when speaking on certain topics, or to people with whom i’m comfortable, i admittedly do well. i’ve even recently been praised for my conversational abilities by family whom i don’t really know and haven’t seen or spoken to in more than a decade.
still, i’ve never thought of myself as a ‘talker.’ i’m more inclined to listen to conversation than participate in it, usually because i don’t think i have anything compelling to contribute. put another way, i’ll speak when i have something to say, but not really otherwise. in this way, i think i take after my father, which on some level fills me with a sense of pride. on another level, however, my aversion to make ‘small talk,’ or rather my unwillingness to speak if i don’t think its important can be seen, in a certain light, as a hinderance.
…i tried several iterations of language here in an attempt to avoid sharing certain details, but omitting said details leaves the post incomplete and maybe a bit muddled. sigh….