do people really change? can they?

i have a friend who, in my opinion, is going to do something stupid. while it bothers me that there’s a good chance they’ll end up getting hurt,  what bothers me at least just as much is that i get the feeling that this friend also knows its stupid and could possibly get hurt, but is going to go ahead anyway. personally, i just don’t get it. then again….

i have yet another friend who has some pretty serious self-esteem issues. i think they know it, but are in such serious denial that a part of them won’t even admit it to themselves. they want to believe the world is bright and cheery and life is good. they want to believe it so badly that any thought or feeling that deviates from that belief is shouted down by effective distractions (details aren’t necessary). people have tried to talk to this friend, including myself, but they just won’t listen. in fact, they’re quite deft at deflecting the conversation entirely.

and then there’s me. i spent the majority of my life dealing with, while at the same time, ignoring, depression. only when i truly felt like i hit rock bottom did i decide i needed to do something about it… two years later. therapy did wonders for me; it changed my focus and my perception. the depression is gone, yet i wonder if i’m really changed.

in thinking about it, i’ve still got all the same quirks and social dysfunction i did. what’s changed is my willingness and ability to accept them. i used to look around at people and want things to be easier. i wanted to be better, bolder, braver. i wanted to be normal. what therapy did for me was simply take away that want. therapy didn’t make me braver, bolder, or better. it simply taught me how to accept. granted, with said acceptance came a certain amount of relief and relaxation, but it didn’t really change anything. it just made things easier.

i started out with a point to all this, but its been lost amongst words and thoughts with no purpose or direction. i guess i just wonder if anyone can really change. a more disturbing question is, should we even want to change?