that’s right, ladies and germs, i’m officially 30 years old. that’s 3 decades, or 360 months, or roughly 782 fortnights (what the hell is a fortnight?), or roughly 1,564 weeks, or 10,950 days, or 262,800 hours, 15,768,000 minutes, or 946,080,000 seconds. i’m a geek….

to celebrate the momentous occasion, my mother requested i returned to the town of my upbringing, the place that, for better and worse, shaped the person i am today. she wanted to celebrate with me this milestone anniversary, which to me seemed a completely reasonable request, given the three decade marker and given the fact it’s been years since i last celebrated a birthday in the house in which i grew up.

the weekend, in itself, was not for me particularly unique, aside from the celebration of which i was the focus. to be honest, most of my birthday celebrations tend to fade into the mash that is my memory, few sticking out from the rest. i expect this one will hold more prominently in my brain, though not because the event was in any way grandiose. it will, for no other reason, stay with me simply because it was my 30th. the details aren’t remarkable and so i won’t bore you with them. don’t get me wrong, the celebration was very nice. i was thankful to be able to spend it at home with a handful of family and so many friends. one friend even made a special trip, just for the weekend, for which i was glad.

among other things, its the surreal experience of this particular trip home that will, i think, linger; so many things seemed different to me. aside from the numerous physical changes of the city, there were other things. for the first time amongst my oldest friends, i am in the minority of singles. in itself, this doesn’t bother me, it is yet another firm reminder that my odds to find, meet, and marry a nice girl are everyday dwindling. 99% of the time, my brain accepts this fact as a simple reality of my life in hawaii. but i cannot deny totally the remaining 1% which occasionally unsettles my sleep; i will forever be a lonely bachelor.

there is also the reality that overland park, not to mention my childhood home, are no longer ‘home.’ i don’t live there anymore and i don’t commonly think of that place as ‘home,’ my ‘home’ is in honolulu. during each of my last few trips back, this feeling has each time become stronger than the last. that idea of ‘home’ for me is gone and i can’t help think of a quote from garden state. i love my life here, don’t want to live in OP again, but can’t help feeling a bit sad whenever i leave. is that strange?

and i know my mom misses me and is a bit sad that i’m so far away and unable to visit more often….

as the day approached, and since, people asked me how i felt, or if i feel any different now?  no.  i feel the same.  when i turned 25 i had that ‘oh, shit, i’m getting old’ moment, but for 30 i haven’t really had such a moment.  there have been brief moments when i look around at friends and colleagues and wonder what the hell i’ve done with my life so far and feel so far behind everyone else.  then i remember who i am, what i’ve had to deal with, and right myself; i am what i am and i’m happy with my life.  that doesn’t mean it can’t be better, but try not to lament what i don’t have or what i haven’t yet been able to do.

all in all, it was a nice, warm, loving trip home.  it’s always nice to know you’re loved.  i had that feeling this past weekend.  i’m thankful for it and for everyone who was there, physically, in spirit, or otherwise.