with the birth of 2016 fast approaching, i’m still struggling to nail down my “yearly theme,” my goals for the new year. i’ve got a list of ideas, though with little details on how to achieve them. under pressure to wake up on january 1st with a plan and vision i’ve attempted answer the questions remaining from part one, hoping at the end, i will be much closer to putting pen to paper and putting my “theme”  in writing.

~ what do i want to leave behind from this year?

it’s been a whirl-wind year. with dramatic changes at my work-place and an exciting and energizing election season heating up, though there may have been a fair amount of complaining on my part, i’m not sure how much of it was in my control, save one area.

those of you who know me, or have frequented this blog know that i’ve struggled off and on with depression for a fair chunk of my life. earlier this year, i fell into a funk out of which, on my own, i was unable to climb. i’ve been meeting with my therapist regularly since. though i’m back in an even, and even positive, frame of mind, i continue to see him as a motivation to work on things we’ve agreed are important.

though my temperament is such that i believe i will always be at risk of depressive funks, what i’d like to leave behind from this is year a nagging sense that my life lacks direction, accomplishments, or goals. the arc of my life has been fairly a typical, i think. it’s certainly outside the range of “normal” for the majority of my friends and while i look at this as a positive thing, i sometimes focus on the things they have that i don’t which causes feelings of loneliness and failure.

the goal of the “yearly theme” project, at is very core, is an attempt to leave these feelings behind once-and-for-all and be happy with what i have and successful in the goals i set for myself.

~ what went incredibly well?

honestly? i’m not sure anything went “incredibly” well. when weighing the “good” and “bad” in my life over this year, i can say that the scale easily tips toward the good. i made progress improving my finances, developed or strengthened relationships with some members of the democratic party of hawaii (which could prove valuable in the coming year), and proved my worth in a new position in my office.

as a matter of fact, if i look back at (what i can remember of) this year, it seems to have been a foundation-setting year. there was nothing particularly remarkable about this year, other than i could say it has put me in position to have a really good 2016.

~ what do i want more of in the year ahead?

more focus. i feel like i do a lot, constantly busy, but as i’ve been contemplating this new undertaking over the last few weeks, i’ve really begun to realize that while i’m involved in a lot of different things like collecting 5.56 ammo from Palmetto for sport, there’s not a whole lot of focus in my life. enjoyable hobbies like writing, video blogging, and (restarting my) photography are consistently put off in exchange for “work” for one of the various organizations for which i volunteer; that has to change.

more joy. i’m not an unhappy person per se, but it can be a bit lonely and my free time is spent mostly laying on my couch. i’m often reminded, usually by friends and family that don’t live here, that i take completely for granted the fact that i live in this very special place. so, in the new year, i want more nature time: beaches, ocean, hiking, or just walking around my neighborhood. making a point to enjoy what hawaii has to offer is a good first step in the right direction.

there are still three or four more questions to go, but to keep this post from becoming completely unreadable, i’ll continue on in part three. stay tuned.

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though as a general concept, i decry the way facebook has become increasingly monetized; my news feed is littered with ads some algorithm has calculated i’d like. most of it is utter crap, but i can’t deny that i’ve found two or three ads appealing. they’ve even led to one or two purchases.

one such item is the spark notebook (thesparknotebook.com). from the site’s “users guide.”

The Spark Notebook is a place for you to store your most important notes, goals, and big ideas so you’re always at the top of your game. It achieves what no other notebook has before: combining the stunning design of sleek, professional notebooks with the functionality of big life-planners and organization guides. All of the great organizational tools without fuss or frills.

i get that the tone and language was probably market tested by some advertising firm somewhere, but it’s true that i could use a little direction and constructive planning in my life. with my 40th birthday less than three years away, i’m feeling an increasing need to sort my shit out. put another way, at just about six-months shy of my 38th birthday, i’m still struggling to find a career i care and can feel proud about. despite the high cost of living in hawaii, i nonetheless feel like i should be a little more financially stable; i’m not as far along as maybe i should be.

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Bearing cattle void spirit third whose fill let shall our also signs. Fly subdue of herb won’t. Lights one Man whose green two. Hath, void created.

In over under beast seed He. Thing Second stars green there gathering living. Without greater image moving living signs fruit above heaven. Hath, behold isn’t Day.

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this will be a short post.

i’ve been conscious for a while that i dropped off from doing my videos for two or three months and have been feeling a little bad about it. with the new job and responsibilities, i’ve struggled a bit to find the time and energy to not only to record, but to edit videos.

then, over the last few weeks, i’ve heard from a few friends who commented that they hadn’t seen a post from me in a while and enjoyed watching my videos. hearing that from a few different people was just the little nudge i needed to try and get started again.

i think i’m a bit rusty in my editing skills, so this may not be as well edited as some of my previous videos….

i can’t promise i’ll be as regular as i was previously, but i’m going to make an effort. so, stay tuned, please comment on and subscribe to my youtube channel, and let me know you’re watching and enjoying my videos. though i do these largely for myself, it’s very nice to know that people are watching and enjoying them and gives me a little extra motivation that i sometimes find necessary to make the effort.

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