so, i think i’m officially over a long time, hopeless crush, just in time to pick up a second, hopeless crush.  boy, do i know how to pick’em, or what?

i think i can say with a fair amount of confidence that a long standing crush has officially died.  the major part of me is relieved; it’s like a breath of fresh air.  pining wasn’t getting me anywhere and just frustrated me.  on the other hand, there’s a part of me that is understandably, i think, disappointed that it didn’t go anywhere.  part of that may be my fault, but at the same time, i think it was just a really strong infatuation that has finally run its course.

i’ve never really slept well.  at least since high school, i’ve been a restless sleeper.  jokingly, i tell people i don’t make my bed because the next night everything ends up on the floor anyway.  in fact, it’s true.  i sleep with no sheets on the bed most of the time, because i end up having to redo it all the next day; it’s kind of a pain.

in the past (not so much anymore) i would go through periods when i wouldn’t really sleep at all.  while it probably wasn’t technically insomnia, i always figured it was about as close as one person could get to insomnia and still get some sleep.  during those periods, i’d average about 1-3 hours of useful sleep a night.  thankfully, those periods didn’t last very long, maybe a week, maybe two, but eventually i think sheer exhaustion took over and i’d catch up on what i’d missed and get back to my cycle of 4-6 hours of sleep, which i’d make up on the weekends, because i could simply stay in bed longer.

about a week ago, i started taking melatonin before going to bed.  is a suppliment, so i guess not technically a drug, over-the-counter, or otherwise.  it seems to be helping, though the thought occurred to me tonight; is it really helping or is it simply acting like a placebo?  while a part of me doesn’t like the idea of my brain playing tricks on me (which i guess it does often, anyway), ultimately does it matter?  if the stuff is helping me sleep better, and so feel better, should i really care if it actually works, or if my brain has tricked me into thinking it works.

either way, i take it 30 minutes before going to bed, and i’m at about 25.  g’night.

a historic day for hawaii and for the hawaii democratic party.  i’m glad and proud to say i was a part of it.

i arrived at my caucus place just before 6pm, to help get people signed up and signed in.  i knew things would be hectic, but i had no idea….  when i arrived, they had already started signing people in and there were easily 100 people in line.  i jumped right in, doing what i could to ensure things went smoothly.  unfortunately, there was little chance of that.

while waiting to be granted access to the cabins at bellows air force base, the subject of my luck (or lack of it, rather) came up briefly in conversation with a friend of mine who was kind enough to wait with me.

in the wake of that conversation and with valentine’s day looming, i’ve been thinking about luck quite a bit. on my way home this evening i remembered a line i heard… somewhere; if i didn’t have bad luck, i wouldn’t have any luck at all. and while that may not be true about every aspect of my life (it’s debatable), it’s certainly true when it comes to girls and relationships. here’s a brief recap, using initials so i don’t have to name names: