it’s 11:45pm and i’ve got a meeting in the morning. early. yet somehow, here i sit. writing and not sleeping. while it is moderately annoying, random bouts of insomnia are something i’ve been dealing with for years. and for reasons that aren’t completely unclear, a dark cloud has developed over me. a cloud i hope to dispatch with some writing.

one of my best friends is leaving the island for greener pastures back on the mainland. i am sad. i’m sad she’s leaving, even though i’m glad she’s potentially found her dream job. it’s good that she knows what she wants to do and has maybe has a chance to do it. admittedly, i’m a bit jealous, though i can’t imagine a job at this point that would compel me to leave this place. maybe it’s because i still don’t know what i want to do. i still don’t have a dream job.

so i received a declination letter from richardson law school yesterday. i knew there wasn’t a big  chance of me being accepted, but i couldn’t help but be a bit shocked. and disappointed.

admittedly, i was never completely sold on the notion, but i did like the idea. it made me feel like i had a plan and a goal, instead of drifting. as such, my biggest frustration and disappointment about the whole thing is now i’m back to having no plan, no goal. oh, and no well-paying job.

you might have noticed the last few posts have been lacking in content or insight; at least one friend (who i didn’t even know read the site) has commented to that effect. this has been, at least partially, by design and while i hesitate, even now, to divulge details, i’ve reached a point where i need to vent and once again turn to my trusty blog to do so.

and so out onto a limb i go….

thank you uncle sam. with half of my tax refund, i’ve purchased a ‘professional’ photo quality printer. its friggin’ awesome! well, to be honest, i haven’t had much of a chance to play with it, but hopefully this week.

the thing is huge. much bigger than i thought it would be.

after work and a meeting friday night, i decided, for some silly reason, that i wanted to set it up. i didn’t know what i was getting into and after three hours of cleaning, arranging and rearranging, midnight passed and i finally got the damn thing up and running.

admittedly, i didn’t use my desk much before, but now because the printer takes up so much space, that i have barely any room to actually work at my desk. there’s just enough room to place my laptop. its a bit annoying and will take some getting used, but i’m definitely excited. once i buy some photo paper i’ll be all set to begin learning how the thing works (its going to be much more complicated than i originially thought). and then, i will begin be able to spending time on a hobby long neglected: photography.

i can’t wait.

for better or worse, i’ve come to enjoy posting to this blog. i like it more as my readership grows (ever so slowly). and i think i can take pride in the fact that there’s very little i’ve not been willing to post here. that’s right, i’ve been an open book, more or less.

but now i’m in a situation where i really would like to write about something that’s happening currently, but it is generally accepted by those i’ve polled that it wouldn’t necessarily be a good idea….

dammit! it was so much simpler when i could be assured no one was reading this….

(if you ask, i might tell you, but probably not. sorry)