so, it was pointed out to me, again, this evening that i think too much. in most situations i would agree that’s not a bad thing, but when it comes to me and my brain, often times thinking can become an issue.
maybe i should say over-thinking. for as long as i can remember, my brain has always had a mind of its own, so to speak and over the years i’ve learned that about the only two things that will shut it off for any length of them is sleep and television… and the prior is debatable. i think about all sorts of things, but really it can all be boiled down to two things: consequences and girls, or rather the consequences when dealing with girls.
i feel i can’t give an example, because by brain is preoccupied with the current most dilemma, but will instead try to speak in generalities (i know you’re excited) of examples past.
from the time girls became ‘interesting’ and ‘cootie-free’ i’ve worried about how to approach girls i’m interested in. my over-active brain, oddly enough, can never think of anything to say. in the past i’ve relied on mutual friends to bridge the gap (i call it the seveth grade syndrome), though seldom with any measure of success.
admittedly, i’ve gotten better at these things over the years, but still feel i’m quite a ways from where i should be (given my age). the current dilemma (i’m fairly convinced it really only exists in my brain) bears this out. even now, i am a bit fearful that i’ve said too much as it now seems entirely possible that the girl in question knows about, and has read, this blog.
in brief, when it comes to girls, i am more or less a bumbling idiot and that has changed only a bit over the years. as a result of this lack of progress, the issue rears its head again; do i employ the counsel of mutual friends for advice and guidence (accepting whatever consequences may be associated), or do i go directly to the souce of my doubt and accept the notion that i have to shove yet another rejection (however polite) under my belt?
i haven’t a clue, but now it’s time for my to attempt to shut off my brain with sleep. g’night.