i’ve been consciously trying, for a little while now, to lose weight. between my doctor saying i’m technically “overweight” and a minor scare with rising blood sugar, losing weight became a more immediate goal that kicking my smoking habit.

with one chronic illness already, the idea of adding type 2 diabetes was a chilling one. almost immediately, i gave up soft drinks altogether (ok, maybe one 3 or 4 times a year); it was much easier than i thought it would be. just that one relatively minor change put my blood sugar back in a normal healthy range, but did little to lower my weight.

at 5’7’’ and, as of this morning, 188 pounds, some medical chart somewhere has labeled me as “overweight”. i’ve felt fat for a long time, but didn’t think too much about it until he told me that. for my height i should be somewhere in the 145-160 pound range. i’ve been shooting for 155 and clearly still have a long way to go.

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you’d think with something like 8000 pictures to choose from, i wouldn’t have any trouble finding something to share on thursdays. but i have been struggling the last few weeks….

so, this is from mid-october 2007. i don’t recall for what celebratory reason we’d gathered at kona brewing company. from the lei emma has donned, i’m guessing it was her birthday. or it could have been something school related…. can you graduate in mid-october from a masters or phd program?


from left to right: dean, becky, me, emma, beks, katja.

i miss these guys.

and can’t help but think… i’m the only one pictured that’s still single.

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as i come to the late afternoon, i’m still struggling to materialize a worthwhile post for today; i’m feeling overwhelmed.

it happens occasionally. my brain goes into overdrive on so many things at once, that it becomes hard for me to focus much on anything at all. life pressures, reminders of things i want to do, or put another way, things i haven’t done or things that are absent in my life.

over the years, i’ve learned this is a symptom, at least for me, of the mild but chronic depression (dysthymia) that i struggle with. so no real post today, instead just a list of topics, thoughts, ideas, feelings running through my head:

money and debt… online dating and relationships… photography… writing… graduate school… work… career… health… weight… smoking… presidential election… productivity and organization… home ownership….

throwback thursday should offer me a relatively easier post, though i’ll have to find a good picture. in the meantime, the best thing for me is to keep my head down and ride out this temporary disfunction until my brain quiets down a bit.


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if you’re like me, and something like 100 million other americans, you sat down and watched at least part of the debate yesterday. though, admittedly, i couldn’t get through the whole thing….

in this age of short attention spans, sound bites, and emotion-based voting, the debate was little more than a show; it was a presentation of the reality-tv type of conflict to which the american people have become addicted. from the few people i’ve actually talked to about the debate, there were two general responses: pain or amusement.

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one of the very first concerts i went to when i was in high school was they might be giants. i think it was for their “john henry” album release in 1994. though so many of their albums are terrific, this one is noteworthy because it was the first one recorded with a full band; previously it has just been the johns on their own.

still the video i’m sharing today is “ana ng” from another album, “lincoln,” released in 1988.


they might be giants, though i don’t often listen to them anymore, are one of my favorite bands and among the best live performers i’ve ever seen.

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