my brain is of a peculiar sort. it has always had a tendency to grab a hold of ideas, thoughts, impractical (or impossible) scenarios and chew on them until there’s nothing left. even ideas, things that in reality have no real value or merit will often claim my preoccupation, using up large amounts of processing power. since i was a child, my brain has had this tendency and i have not, as of yet, figured out a way to let go of all thoughts inconsequential.

such is occurring now and began yesterday afternoon. i got a call from one of my best and oldest friends as he and his wife were driving back from a weekend out of town. in typical fashion, he started ‘harassing’ me about my… lack of dating and mentioned a girl i know, who is recently single, but doesn’t live in hawaii.

we often joke about these things; he insists and gives reasons why i should relocate away from hawaii and i insist, giving reasons of my own, he should just relocate here. of course, neither is very likely. still, joking or not, the suggestion has been festering in my brain since yesterday.

i decided years ago that the lack of dating opportunities here was not a good reason to relocate to larger pools. i have a life here that is, for the most part, successful and i see no reason to leave for a singular reason such as this. of course, having said this, there is that part of my brain that chews on ridiculous, impractical, and impossible scenarios that can’t help but chew on my friend’s playful suggestion that i abandon hawaii for brighter potential(s)….

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if you aren’t already aware, i have a tendency to talk to myself. and not just in my head like jd from scrubs. i actually speak out loud to myself. usually i don’t do this when there are people around, strangers or otherwise, though its been known to happen. essentially i’m just talking thinking out loud, but in a conversational style.

i’ve also a tendency, though with less frequency, to sing quietly to myself if i’ve got a particular song in my head. sometimes i don’t even realize i’m doing it, especially if i’m concentrating on something else. like ordering dinner.

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i love my roommate, as he is one of my oldest friends, and i know he’s often just looking out for me, trying to help, and the like, but sometimes sees things that aren’t there, or pushes in ways that aren’t necessary.

it is the most recent example of this and the circumstances surrounding it that i’ve deemed post-worthy.

i brought a friend to the house earlier this week, a friend of the opposite-sex-variety which, as my roommate pointed out, is a rarity, and so he was immediately intrigued. his excitement and interest is, admittedly, one of the reasons i don’t often bring girls around. when i do, i feel like the special olympics athlete who’s come in last place. “oh, you’re so great! good for you! i’m so proud!” while i know that’s not his intention, it is nonetheless just a bit humiliating.

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