that’s right. 2007 is upon us. another year older, closer to retirement, old age, and death. cheery thoughts, no? just kidding. i am expecting, in some ways, 2007 to out do 2006, though i’m not sure how yet.

really, despite my relatively positive outlook on this year, i want to talk about something maybe a little less inspiring. anyone who is familiar with this blog should be able to guess the topic with ease. it is a variation on a familiar theme: my bachelor status.

recent engagement announcements have once again served as a stark reminder of just how very far away i am from such an announcement of my own. don’t get me wrong, i couldn’t be happier for them and can’t wait to be amongst the onlookers (assuming i can get away and afford to attend both).

there is a difference, i guess between my feelings on this subject now as apposed to, say… two years ago. there was a time when i thought all i needed to be happy was to be in a relationship. now i know that’s not the case and i don’t have the same overwhelming need to have a girlfriend, but still, it’d be nice.

here’s the thing, though; i’m not sure i’ll ever find the right girl. as another year fades to memory i look around and see couples almost everywhere. as i get older, the window of opportunity gets smaller and smaller. i don’t say this from a place of self-doubt or pessimism. i say this as an observer of other men and women my age.

people are coupling up and getting married left and right, it seems. and as has always seemed to be the case, the girls i find interesting are either already coupled, or are quite simply uninterested in me. admittedly, the aspects of my personality associated with meeting and interacting with women has changed very little. so maybe i don’t put myself out there as much as i should, or could.

but if two plus years of therapy taught me anything, it’s that there are simply parts of my personality that aren’t going to change. i’m always going to be shy and awkward around girls, at least at first. i’ve come to accept this aspect of my personality and it doesn’t really bother me anymore. as a result, however, i have to accept the reality that this is going to make it much more difficult to meet girls worth dating.

and this brings me to the thought that has been quietly gnawing at me for the last several weeks; maybe i’m meant to be single. being someone who has never believed in g-d, someone who has never believed in fate and destiny, this is a startling notion with which i’m struggling to come to terms.

the simple, if not slightly depressing, thought that i’m supposed to be single is forcing me to reassess my whole view of existence and it freaks me out just a bit….

of course, i could meet the perfect girl tomorrow.  life’s a crap shoot that way.